Ode Untuk Ayah

A month before he died, he picked her up at school. She never knew that it was the last time she saw him. She and nobody knows.

Saturday, June 1999

He picked her up at 10am, he was there and her grandma was there too just in case he doesn't picked her up. But then she saw him, they're going to mall and his house. That little girl said " I'm happy to be with you, dad " " me too, but I think this is the last time we met " he answered. "But why? How could you do this to me and mom" "I didn't meant to, one day you'll find the answered" he said.

A few minutes later someone's come, " hi little girl, I'm his wife. My name is Monica, you're so pretty and looks like your dad. I'm pregnant right now and you'll gonna have a brother, are you happy? " but she didn't say a word, she just smile.

They went to home, but she's not happy and she asked her dad to go home. When they're arrived at home, he talked to her mom which is still his wife " take care of her ". But the little girl went away to her room and cry. She said " I'm so sad, his house is so small and I don't like his wife. He suppossed to be success and rich, he suppossed to be with me! "

July, 1999

It's been a month since she saw him, suddenly someone called her mom and said " he's dead! He have a heart attacked! Now he's in M**** Hospital, come here as soon as possible! " and her mom go to the hospital with her grandma, but she just sat in her bed. Tears fall on her cheeks, finally she lose someone important in her life.

Years has been passed, she turned to a big girl right now. Maybe she didn't remember his face, his voice and other. But no matter how hard she tried to hate him, she just can't.

Mungkin kita tak pernah berpelukan, mungkin kita jarang berjabat tangan, mulut tak pernah ucapkan rasa sayang dan hormatku tak dengan tangan terbuka yg menyilang. Aku dibaptis lewat obrolan, ayah dan anak. Panglima dan prajuritnya, ayah restuiku berjuang.

Meski kini kau tak lagi bersamaku, benarkan setiap salahku namun kan kuingat slalu semua ajarmu. Aku sayang kamu - Ode Untuk Ayah

Things as they are (re-post by Paulo Coelho)

Of course things don’t always happen they way we wish they would. There are moments in which we feel we are seeking something that is not meant for us, knocking on doors that don’t open, waiting for miracles that don’t manifest themselves.
Fortunately that is the way things are – if everything went the way we wanted, soon we would no longer have anything to write about, nothing to guide our daily thoughts. This script serves our dreams as nourishment, but to our battles as energy. And as it always happens with the warriors that spend all their energy in the Good Fight, there are moments in which it is best to relax and believe that the Universe is still working for us secretly, even if we cannot comprehend it.
And so, let us allow the Soul of the World to fulfill its mission, and if we can’t help, the best way to collaborate is to pay attention to the simple things in life; the sunset, the people in the street, the reading of a book.

However, in many cases, time continues passing and nothing exceptional happens. But the true warrior of light believes. Just like children believe.
Because they believe in miracles, the miracles begin to happen.
Because they are certain that their thoughts can change their lives, their lives begin to change.
Because they are certain they will find love, this love appears.
Sometimes they are disappointed. Sometimes they feel hurt.
Then they hear the comments, “you are so naïve!”
But the warrior knows it is worth the price. To each defeat, there are two conquests in his favor.

iseng

Karena gue lagi bosan dan jenuh, maka tingkat kepo gue jadi meningkat, dan gue pun menanyakan ini ke beberapa orang :

" Apasih yang bikin orang stuck sama masa lalunya? "

Responden 1 : Memory dan ga ikhlas melepas masa lalu
Responden 2 : masih ada rasa penasaran
Responden 3 : belum menemukan orang yang baru, orang baru yang kita temui ga sebaik dia yang di masa lalu
Responden 4 : Memory dan sulit menghilangkan kebiasaan yang biasa dilakukan bersama
Responden 5 : Masih belum bisa lupa karena terlalu sakit
Responden 6 : Beautiful memories, masih ngarep balikan dan blm ketemu orang yg lebih baik
Responden 7 : Bego, terlalu terbawa perasaan. ga berpikir pake logika

And my answer are the same, sometimes we remember those memories but then we know that those memories doesn't exist anymore, so why are people still stuck in the past? What happened in the past, stay in the past. 

‘But don’t forget that memory is like salt: the right amount brings out the flavour in food, too much ruins it. If you live in the past all the time, you’ll find yourself with no present to remember.’ - Paulo Coelho

Broken Hair

Seperti rambut rusak yang kering dan bercabang
Lebih baik dipotong, agar rambut itu menjadi sehat
Walaupun sulit merelakan rambut yang sudah kita rawat hingga panjang
Tidak ada pilihan lain, selain memotong pendek
Ya memang membutuhkan waktu yang cukup lama untuk membuat rambut tersebut menjadi indah  kembali
Tapi, seiring berjalannya waktu
Ia dapat menjadi indah, jauh lebih indah dari sebelumnya

yeah you do have a courage

As Jon Franklin, reporter, author and teacher, said: "Back when I first started, I thought intelligence was the most important attribute a reporter could have. I have since changed my mind. You do have to be intelligent, but the big thing is courage. Courage to open your mind and let the whole damned confusing world in. Courage to always be the ignorant one, on somebody else's turf. Courage to stand corrected. Courage to take criticism. Courage to grow with your experiences. Courage to accept what you don't understand. Most of all, courage to see what is there and not what you want to think is there."